


I Think Too Much

by delusional_imagination



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drowning, Gen, Sacrifice, this made me cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusional_imagination/pseuds/delusional_imagination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hated the feeling of being weak, defenseless, unable to help himself or anyone around him.  Unable to really help the people he loved and cared about.  So as he clutched the cold steel side of the tub filled with freezing water, he knew this was the only thing that could be done if he wanted to help in any way possible.  This was the only way to save his dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> I would recommend reading this while listening to "I Am Terrified" by IAMX

He tried to keep calm, he really did.  But the forboding hard and cold metal of the tub did not help one bit.  He had begun shivering before he had even gotten within a mile of the small animal hospital, not even near the icy water he had to be submirged in.  He was able to stop shaking enough so that no one would worry about him too much to try to talk him out of what they were about to do.  He hated the feeling of being weak, defenseless, unable to help himself or anyone around him.  Unable to really help the people he loved and cared about.  So as he clutched the cold steel side of the tub filled with freezing water, his other hand holding his father's badge, he knew this was the only thing that could be done if he wanted to help in any way possible.  This was the only way to save his dad.

He looked back at Lydia, her body language awkard and twitchy, and he knew she didn't want to be in this situation.  She pulled on the sleave on her dress, tucked a stray hair behind her ear, rubbed her neck, all while looking anywhere but Stiles.  He should have felt hurt, but the fear of death, literaly sitting right infront of him, clouded his mind, filling it with every alternative step that could have been taken to avoid everything that was going on.  He couldn't think of anything, not that it would matter either way.

Maybe he just thought too much, trying to keep his mind off of the fact that he had placed his foot into the tub that was infront of him.  The cold water inside of the tub shocked him back into the reality of what was going on.  The fact that he was not only one step closer to his death, but also one step closer to saving his dad.  Thinking of his dad again made Stiles put the rest of his leg into the water, his mind screaming to run away and never look back.  He almost gave in to that thought, drawing his soaked leg out of the water only a small amount.  And just as he was about to let that one thought of running take over, he felt a hand on his back.  He turned around again to see Lydia, closer to him now, her manicured hand on his back, and again she was not looking at him but at the tub.

Lydia spoke softly, and Stiles strained to even hear it, "You're a good guy, Stiles.  And I'm sorry I didn't notice that sooner."  She looked at him then, her gaze locked and caring, and gave a weak smile.  He returned the smile and gave a nervous laugh, and he could feel himself shivering again, the leg submerged in water slowly getting numb.

Stiles looked back at the tub, slowly lifting himself up and placing his other leg into the water.  A shiver ran through his body, and the constant impulses and thoughts slowed, his body being numbed by the water.  Now standing in the water, he glanced back one last time at Lydia, who looked as if she was going to cry or scream at any moment, maybe even both.  The sadness in her eyes made Stiles want to hug her, just wrap his arms around her and say everything would be fine.  But how could Stiles tell her that when he wasn't even sure everything was fine?  At that thought, he lowered the rest of his body into the numbing water, gasping at how cold the water really was.

Once the cold water created an icy prison around his whole body, Stiles looked to his left.  To his best friend, his brother.  Stiles forced his mouth to move, and the words just flowed out, his shivering making him sound like he had a stutter."Just in case I don't make it out of this, Scott.  I thought you should know,"  Stiles paused for a second, swallowing hard, trying to stop the chattering of his teeth, "your dad is in town."

Scott looked confused for a moment, but a second later the look changed to one of understanding and he nodded.  Stiles gave a weak smile, his mouth slightly twitching on one side and looked away from Scott, to Allison.  She had a dead look in her eyes, her gaze locked on something else in the room.  It was as if the cold water was not only slowing her heart, but the thought of dying had made her stiff with fear.

That feeling sunk to the deepest part of Stiles' mind when Deaton moved forward, placing his hands on Scott's shoulders, and while the ice water had nearly numbed every part of his body, he could feel Lydia's hands move to his shoulders as well.  She was shaking as well, he could feel her hands twitching and her quickened breathing.

Stiles looked over at Scott one more time, and the fear officially sunk in.  He was about to die, there was no way out of it.  He could thrash and scream as much as he wanted to, but it was inevitable.  At that moment, Stiles understood Isaac's fear of small spaces more.  You could not get out, there was no way out.

 _Let me out,_ Stiles thought, his breathing becoming heavier, _Please, just let me out.  I'm scared, I don't want to do this.  I have a life to live, things to do._

Stiles gasped, frightened, when he felt Lydia push on his shoulders, and he felt himself getting lower in the freezing water.  Stiles closed his eyes.

_Do you hear me?  I have a life to live, I have people I care about, that care about me!  I can't die._

The water was up to his mouth.

 _I can't die, I don't want to die_. 

The water was above his nose.

_I'm terrified.  But I don't want to have to find my father's body.  Would it be better if he found mine?_

His head had gone underwater.

_I hope the whole, coming-back-to-life thing works._

And with his last dying thought as the darkness took over, all he could think was:

_I wonder if I'll see me mom?_

**Author's Note:**

> I know I probably got the whole Stiles telling Scot his dad is in town line wrong, but I wrote this in the middle of the night, so...


End file.
